How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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