k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
