More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
