i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
