Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
