i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
this will be a night to untag.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
