Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
