CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
