I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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