Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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