It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
