A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
