I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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