yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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