I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
