turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
