my room smells like sperm. sweet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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