Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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