Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
