don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
