Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Of course I have a pirate flag
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