So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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