Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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