bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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