Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
