it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just blew my weed a kiss
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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