Banned from zoo.
Again?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
