We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
