in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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