Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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