yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
