you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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