Midget sex pt 2 tonight
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
