i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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