He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
