dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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