Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
