I'm lost and stupid without you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You were trust falling into bushes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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