I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
