She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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