thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
