Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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