She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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