is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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