I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
