Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
