when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
