I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
