whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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