So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
