threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
